Has someone ever let you down in a professional relationship? A damaged relationship can really put a damper on career happiness for you and another. So what do we do?
The spiritual text, A Course in Miracles, teaches that we are either someone's Crucifier or Savior. Meaning, either we take their mistake and make them "pay" through our attack and feel worse for it, or we offer forgiveness, which is a healing force and reminds us and them that this was simply an error or misunderstanding and that we see this person's True Identity as love and goodness.
Now, this doesn't mean we skip over the person's error. Especially in business, we'll need to discuss what happened so that we can take away lessons and do better next time. How we open our conversation about the error is essential then because it sets the tone for how all parties engage in this dialogue - either in kindness or defensiveness.
Practically speaking, we can use the "Compliment Sandwich" Technique, which allows the person to feel safe and honored in the conversation rather than attacked. It goes like this:
Sandwich = Compliment + Critique + Compliment
Here is an example of how we might do this:
Working with you, I have seen your commitment to quality work over and over. Unfortunately, it appears that the project request I sent you last week to be fulfilled upon by Friday was not completed.
You're always so diligent in our work together.
Can we discuss what happened here?
Spiritual Practice: A prayer to forgive
When someone has wronged us or somehow hurt us or made us look bad, feelings of anger and disappointment are normal. And, if that person has disappointed us in the past and we didn't talk to them about it, we might even have built up some resentment toward them.
How do we shift these hard feelings toward forgiveness? A prayer can work miracles to help open our eyes and our hearts to a new, softer perception of the situation. We simply say the prayer, and give our higher power time to bring guidance to us. Here's a sample:
Dear Higher Power,
I am angry and it is my instinct to attack this person for their error. I am willing to turn this anger over to you and I also turn over any fears that this person will hurt me again. I am willing to see this situation another way. Please guide me back to my heart and peace. For I know if I can drop this, then I will be free and this person will also heal in the light of my forgiveness. Amen.