How to Look Within and Understand Difficult Relationships
Updated: Mar 24
When you’re on a career path to fulfill big dreams, you will go through times of growth. This is part of achieving your dreams. You’re going to go through a personal journey of expansion, increasing your ability to provide love, harmony, and goodness to the world. Difficult relationships are access to growth. This week’s video and blog post will teach you how to take personal responsibility in your relationships and get one step closer to living your purpose.
Why Look Within? You’re toxic too!
When you experience challenges with someone, it is easy to point the finger at the other person. The internet is full of memes and articles encouraging you to get away from toxic people and remove them from your life. However, many times we describe others as “toxic” and this lets us off the hook to avoid personal responsibility for our own negative behavior. The reality is when we have a conflict with another person, there’s always something within that’s causing the problem. Toxic behavior comes from fear, which means that everyone is capable of being toxic. We always act from either fear or love, and sometimes fear wins.
It Takes Courage to Look Within
Recently, I was examining one of my own relationships and I noticed how fear was causing my own negative behavior. I had previously thought the problem was all the other person. I reached out to a mentor for advice. She said, “Looking at ourselves is one of the hardest things about healing.” It’s so easy to look at other people and to see what they’re doing wrong, but today I invite you to look within yourself. Taking this step will help you on your path to your dreams. On your career path, relationship challenges like this help you do the work and learn major growth lessons so that you can cultivate new skills and become a better version of yourself that can fulfill your dreams.
Three Steps to Help You Look Within
How do you deal with a difficult professional relationship? What do you do when you can see what the other person is doing wrong, but not your own actions? Here are three steps:
Acknowledge that you have a role in the challenge: You may not know what your role is as you begin, but acknowledging that every relationship is a two-way street is a brave first step to see what you might be contributing to the challenge.
Give yourself compassion: Remember, we’re always acting in love or fear. So if you are contributing to the challenge in the relationship, be compassionate to yourself around the fear that provoked you.
Purify your thoughts: Whenever you’re struggling with another person, your own thoughts are the cause of how this struggle leaves you feeling. Take some time to check your thoughts and purify them by seeing that other person from love.
A Prayer to Look Within and See Your Errors in a Relationship
If through your initial examination, you do not gain insight into how you’re contributing to the difficult relationship, you can offer a prayer for guidance. The universe will respond and give you an answer. You will get clarity, whether it’s through your own thoughts or a conversation that sparks an understanding. This prayer is magic.
Dear [God, Angels, Universe],
I am in this conflict with [name] and I am feeling upset, and I blame them, but I know I have a responsibility here that I do not yet see.
Please help me understand my errors. Please help me see how I can change my thoughts, and approach this differently from a space of love.
I’m willing to see, even if it’s hard. Please let me receive this wisdom with grace and ease.
Thank you, Amen.